When We Collide
by KK's Slave
Summary: Lucas and Peyton. One shot.


Disclaimer: I don't own anything in OTH 'cause if I did, I wouldn't have had to sit through the ... that they are giving us right now.

A/N: This is a fanfic I wrote because I was bored, and since one-shots are the only thing I can complete, it's only one chapter. The song used is Collide by Dishwalla and don't ask me whatit has to do with the story, because I have no idea. It's been stuck in my head ever since I saw Hidden ... but that has nothing to do with the story, so I'll just shut up. I wonder who's reading this little note thing anyway ...

* * *

_When I came here there was more.  
Now I've come back to destroy,  
And I've got nothing left._

It's been over a year. Fourteen months to be exact. Fourteen months since he had seen her face. Fourteen months since he had heard her voice. Fourteen months since the day that haunted his dreams and molded his nightmares. A day he'll never forget, no matter how much he wished for it to disappear, no matter how much he wished for it to get erased from his mind.

The truth was, he'd seen it coming. They had both seen it coming. They weren't the same anymore – nothing was the same anymore. The laughter, the banter, the touches, the glances, the flirtation, the conversations – it was all gone. As sweet and wonderful and meaningful their first five years together had been, the next five were just as vinegary. They still cared, still loved – but what if it suddenly wasn't enough?

A_nd it's a shame what we've become,  
When we hurt the ones we love,  
And it's a place I can not go,  
Anymore._

Her saw her across the street that day. Fourteen months later. The one who used to make his heart stop and beat faster at the same time. The one who used to make his legsturn intojelly. The one who used to warm up his insides with just a simple stare. And the worst part was, she still did.

Fourteen months later, he was still in love with her. Fourteen months later, she could still have the same effect on him as she before. Fourteen months later, their relationship had gone from rocky to nonexistent.

She had felt his gaze on her that day. And she had stared right back. Into his heart. Right down into his soul. As always. But it was not the same. It never will be again.

This was not the way she had wanted them to end up. The same feelings radiating in their hearts. And yet, there was nothing they could do about it. They had drifted. The reason behind it, they did not know. It had just happened – a gradual separation, and they had let it happen, without giving it a second glance. Too busy with their lives to gaze at the future, too caught up with the present. And when they had finally stopped and tried to fix it, it had been too late.

They had always had totry hard to make it work. Their connection was effortless, and it still was – it was just everything else that was complicated. And it had become too much to handle.

She had seen him that day. Fourteen months later. And she had diverted her gaze and walked away. Just as he had expected her to. But it still stung – and as he watched her blend into the crowd and disappear, he had silently stood in his place, his vision blurred by the hot tears forming in his eyes. And then he had turned as well and departed, for it had for the best what she had done and he knew it.

_When we collide we lose ourselves.  
When we collide we break in two,  
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,  
It's a hard mistake.  
When we collide,  
We break._

And they had lost control. The desire burning in them, the passion flaming in their hearts – it was too much to quench. Add alcohol to the mix, and the next thing they know, they are waking up in each other's arms, their exposed bodies compressed tightly against each other, their hearts echoing in the silence of the room,their heartbeat mingling into one.

And she had left, her face cold and expressionless, her eyes diverted so he could notstare into them and demolishthose almost indestructible walls, and he had let her go, watching her wrap a few garments around her naked self and dart out of the room as fast as her bare feet could carry her. And he hadn't sobbed this time, for there were no tears left to weep.

_When the cold comes crashing down,  
And the fight lost what it's about.  
I could tell that you'd left._

He hadn't heard or seen her since. And he was gradually recovering again – his focus back on his time consuming work and on nothing else. But there were still the memories that burned inside him, and every night, when he lay on his bed, enveloping the blankets tightly around himself and closing his eyes, the same images drifted back into his mind. He could regulate his thoughts at day, but in his dreams, he was not in control any longer.

And he had received a call on one of these nights. His eyes opened quickly at the sound, the recollections from that night still vivid in his mind, and he stood up, groaning slightly, and reached for the phone situated nearby. The words of the speaker on the other line had gone in through one ear and departed through another, yet he was to always remember one small sentence:

"She's dying."

_It's a shame what we've become,  
When we hurt the ones we love.  
It's a place I can not go,  
Anymore._

He had gone to see her, weak and frail, her body sprawled across the hospital bed, her eyes shut as her chest roseand fellin her sleep. His heart had exploded then, and he had exited the room quickly, and rested against the jagged wall of the building, breathing heavily, his right hand over his delicate heart as beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.

He had refused to go back after, knowing it was only his childish insecurity that stopped him. He was terrified, frightened by the effect she had on him, petrified by the way he felt near her. And even when his best friend had come over, and tried to persuade him into visiting, he would not sway, even as guilt, remorse and shame flooded inside him. He was craven, he knew it – afraid of facing his feelings, afraid of how she wouldct, but most of all, afraid of accepting that in a matter of days, she would be gone. And there was nothing he could do about it.

_When we collide we lose ourselves.  
When we collide we break in two,  
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,  
It's a hard mistake.  
When we collide,  
When we collide._

She had asked for him. Asked for just one more moment with him. And he couldn't give it to her.

It amazed him how just a few weeks ago, he would've given anything to have her talk to him, to have her forgive him for his stupidity. But he didn't deserve clemency, nor did he deserve closure. And he knew if he went to her, she would grant him both of these. No, it was just best to stay away. He deserved the aching pain that his body had to endure everyday.

And he had voiced this to his best friend. And she had sighed, nodding, and left, only muttering one question before her departure.

"But does she deserve the pain as well?"

_It's a hard mistake,  
When we collide._

And after replaying the inquiry over and over in his mind, he had gone and entered her compartment. Her eyes had been on the door the entire time, as if she was expecting someone – expecting him.

They waited in silence, their mouths open, yet with no words flowing out of them. And it stayed like this for some time, neither speaking, their eyes traveling across the room, focusing on anything but each other. And then, when he couldn't handle it anymore, when his chest was about to explode from everything he was feeling within, he spoke, in a clear loud voice,

"I'm sorry."

And their eyes met then, piercing into each other like daggers piercing through one's skin. And they spoke without words, and he knew he had been forgiven, as he had expected to be. And he was thankful.

_It's a mistake,  
When we collide we lose ourselves,  
When we collide we break in two,  
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,  
It's a hard mistake,  
When we collide,  
When we collide._

He had come every day since then, and they had sat in each other's company, enjoying the tranquil silence around them, speaking barely except for a few hello and goodbyes.

But she had spoken to him that day, a frown situated on her flawless forehead, her frail white hand on his, and he had listened more intently than ever.

"There's something you have to promise me before I die."

"You're not going to die." He spoke firmly, squeezing her hand tightly in his, a fake smile appearing on his lips – a smile that disappeared before it reached his captivating blue eyes.

She smiled back in the same way, then looked away, a wave of seriousness washing over her gaunt face. "It's best to accept the inevitable soon. It's just going to hurt more later on if you don't." She looked up at him, and he stared back, willing himself to hold back the tears that were ready to flow down his cheeks. "There's something you have to promise me."

"Okay."

"Promise me that – " She paused, trying to find the right words. "Promise me that after I die, you won't continue to do what you've done for the past year. Promise me you won't sit around and mourn and brood and – " She sighed. "I want you to move on – find someone, fall in love – " Her voice quivered. " – get married, have kids. Be happy."

"I can't promise you that," he answered truthfully.

"Well, you're going to have to, damn it!" She snatched her hand away from his, her sudden outburst slicing through the serenity of the empty room. He didn't respond, just watched her silently, refusing to give in to her demands. "Please, just please."

"I can't," he whispered softly. "I can't make promises I can't keep."

A tear trickled down her gaunt lifeless cheek, and she smiled feebly. "I don't want to leave this world without knowing that you're going to be okay. And this – this is the only way I can be sure you will be." She took her face in his hands and pulled him closer. "Please Luke."

The look in her eyes – it was something he would never forgot. And it was something he couldn't refuse. "I – I promise," he murmured unwillingly, his eyes glimmering with tears.

"Thank you."

_It's a hard mistake,  
When we collide, we break,  
We break._

He had gotten up an hour later, walking to the door, his heart heavy and hurting.

"One more thing."

He turned around, looking back at her figure lying on the bed, a thin sheet covering her body.Clumps of heryellow hair, messy and cluttered, lay sprawled across the small pillow, and her skin was pallid and sickly, except for the dark circles under her drooping eyes. And to him, she was the most beautiful creature in the world.

"I'm sorry, Luke."

His eyes shone with confusion. "For what?"

"For not being able to be the one for you."

"You're always going to be the one for me, Peyt." He smiled. "Don't you remember? You're the only one I've ever really loved – it's always been you."

A small laugh escaped her pale, dry lips. "That's from Smallville, you doofus."

"Well, Clark and Lana were always your favorite TV couple."

She nodded. "They reminded me of us. Guess we should have expected this then, huh?" Confusion was evident in his eyes. "That it was never going to last forever. We were just kidding ourselves. I was going to have to let you go – maybe not for the sake of humanity, but ..." She sighed. "Or maybe we aren't like them. I mean, I was never the right girl for you – I shouldn't have tried to be."

"Peyton." He stared at her, recalling her favorite scene from the series. Then, with a clear, confident voice, he repeated Lana's words, "You never had to try."

* * *

What? Did you really think I could write something without including my current obsession in it? ... It had a different ending though, but I was being too lazy to write it. Yeah ... that sucked, I know.


End file.
